Musings of an Idiot

High Tension

Doubt is man's great friend and any belief worth having should survive doubt. Over the past couple of days I have had serious doubts about film making and how I have simply started charting untested waters without keeping any part of me safely tucked away on the shore. I would be lying if I said that it is all good because the truth is that it is scary going through uncharted territory and finding things out as you go. But at the end of the day – what is really satisfying is that I am living life instead of playing it safe. Not that playing it safe is a bad thing – far from it, it has its high points that includes being responsible for people other than you, which you definitely can't do if you are a nomad . And in the end – it comes down to the individual themselves and I think I rather enjoy exploring the unknown and seeing where life leads me – after all this is the only life that I will get to live.

I watched a couple of good movies yesterday night and it feels good. The first one was 'Factotum' – which works because of Matt Dillon and is a gently paced exploration of a writer's struggles and journey in finding themselves (or losing themselves). The second movie was a French horror movie called 'High Tension' which was simply brilliant for 3/4th of it's running time before taking an unexpected turn which kind of dilutes the impact of the overall movie a bit. It keeps you on the hook all the time and the sound design on the movie is fantastic.

The sluggishness and the dizziness I had over the past couple of days are gone. I think it was definitely food poisoning of some sort. I will start work on the rough cut from Monday and hope to tighten the cut. We still have a couple of pickup shots and a scene to film – which we will try and film over the next couple of weeks.

Till later,
Amit

Labels: Introspection, Movies

posted by Amit @ 9:07 PM 0 Comments

Goodbye 2006

Before coming to bidding farewell to 2006 I would like to quickly highlight something important.
Wikipedia - the online encyclopedia is doing a fund raising in order to keep the site going. It is a fantastic resource and I think it a worthwhile cause to share the knowledge base - after all knowledge is power. Do donate whatever amount you feel like (big or small) to it to support the cause. You would have lots of questions about what and why - you can check out the FAQ section on it HERE. In order to donate you can go to their page here.

Yesterday was a lovely day as I attended Tania and Andrew's wedding. It was a different experience - more so because it was the first western wedding that I have attended. The whole event (including the reception) lasted about 8 hours - which is a big change when compared to any kind of indian weddings which are long drawn and elaborate affairs. Overall it was a fantastic experience and it is always good to be part of a family event - in this case the Wordsworth family.

Editing wise I have edited another 10 minutes in the 1 day I had since the last update, so the assembly now stands at 58.5 minutes. Yesterday and today are my days off editing and I get back to it from tomorrow. I hit the first rough patch in assembling on Friday as one of the scenes wouldn't cut together at all because of lighting and exposure problems on location. That was one of the last scenes we shot in the evening on one of the Saturdays of filming and we kept filming even though we were loosing light pretty fast. It has now come to bite me in the bum during edit. We will re-shoot the scene when we go back to shoot the pickups and the climax of the second act. It is not a biggie as it is only a small scene. But overall the movie is shaping up really nicely.

Since this is going to be the last post for 2006 I think I will get a little bit introspective of the year that has gone by. The year started off great with trip back home and catching up with family and friends in India before coming back to NZ. Work wise - it has been a tough year overall with all the struggles of trying to get 'Nowhere to Love' into production and ultimately postponing it till we got the script in a better shape and find proper funding for it. Add to that a rough year at South Seas where there were more downs than ups - especially the later part of the year, which made the overall year that much more tougher. And I unfortunately also missed my sister's wedding earlier this month. But the year had also had many positives where I managed to rally together a team to get 'Five' off the ground and into production in a really short time span. This more than made up for everything else. I also moved into a new flat which has been fantastic and proved to be a good move. I formed some great new friends and probably did more socializing than 2004 and 2005 put together.I paid off my student loan. I got my full NZ driving license and I have applied for NZ citizenship after finding that I was eligible to apply for it now - making the cut off date by 5 days (otherwise I would have had to wait for another 2 years). And finally being lucky enough to get the support from a lot of people in one way or another. So it has been by all means been an eventful year.

Now I head into 2007 with my second movie to be released sometime during the year. And without the security of a pay check arriving into my bank account every week as I will be freelancing instead of being in a job. It is definitely an exciting time to look forward to. A bit frightening at times but exciting and challenging nonetheless. Here is to another year lived to the fullest and to the future.


Wish anyone reading this a very happy new year and all the best wishes for another exciting year.

Adios,
Amit

Labels: Filming, Five, Future, Introspection, Post Production, Wedding

posted by Amit @ 3:30 PM 0 Comments

Photo Gallery

The photo gallery for 'Five' is up and running. You can check it out HERE.

I sometimes get the feeling that I am really detached from this illusion of reality and the feeling has been really strong over the past few days. My version of reality sucks at this point and if you add to it the vivid nightmares I have been having over the past few nights - it isn't exactly a great place to be in.

I spoke to my family in India as everyone is together for my sister's (first cousin) wedding and I am the only one missing from the entire family. I don't know if I should cry or just shut off emotionally - I feel completely alienated at this point in time and I have no one but myself to blame.

I had pitched myself for a 1st A.D. job on a medium budget HD feature to be shot in January but I don't think I have got that job - the reasons I have heard through grapevine is they are not sure if the crew will understand my English or not. What the fuck kind of a reasoning is that?! Anyway things happen for a reason - so I should thank my stars and concentrate on editing 'Five'.

Greencine.com has picked up the internet rights for 'Memories of Tomorrow' which will distributed as VOD {Video on Demand} through their website. It is really exciting as it is another venue for distribution for our first movie. I will post a link once things are up and running from their end - it might take a month or so.

I will take leave for now.
Till later,
Amit

Labels: Five, Introspection, Memories of Tomorrow, Wedding

posted by Amit @ 11:08 PM 0 Comments

Restless..

I am just restless and wide awake. I don't feel one with the universe right now for some reason. There's got to be more to life than just this.

In my state of restlessness, I went and pre-ordered 'The Fountain' graphic novel edited by Darryn Afronsky from amazon.com (click on the image to pre-order if you feel like it). The back story is that the movie was originally supposed to star Brad Pitt and Cate Blanchet with a US$ 75 million budget but because of creative differences between Brad Pitt and the director - the movie got shut down. When the first version of the script was shelved and production was halted Aronofsky rewrote the script and re-envisioned the film. The first version of the script was turned into a graphic novel illustrated by Kent Williams.

The movie did get revived with half the original budget and new stars - Hugh Jackman and Rachel Weisz. The movie opened to rave reviews and some infamous 'booing' at Venice Film Festival. Personally I can't wait to see this movie but it doesn't get released in NZ till Jan or Feb 2007. You can watch the trailer for the movie HERE.

Till later,
Amit

Labels: Graphic Novels, Introspection, Movies

posted by Amit @ 2:36 AM 0 Comments

Out of the Blue

Time passes, scars don't. They try and heal but the hurt opens up the wounds all the time. Pain is another form of pleasure but pleasure doesn't heal either. It is so momentary that the pain becomes all the more real. A paradox that is hard to break.


I just returned from watching a new NZ movie titled 'Out of the Blue' and it was a haunting look at the 1990 Aramoana massacre - which shook up entire NZ because of it's brutality and pointlessness. The movie explores the event with faithfullness and you feel the horror of the event unfold and frighteningly so because of the unpredictability. There is no gratituous violence - when it happens, it is quick and brutal (even the off-screen deaths). The cinematography is painfully beautiful and the edit is nicely timed. The movie is definitely a good one, made all the better by spot on acting by everyone.

It has been a crazy week - script, workshops, trying to get avid media composer running on my laptop, rebuilding my laptop, meetings and viewings at school, pre-production work for 'five'. I can't run Media Composer on my laptop as it is having problems with my graphics card which in turn is causing a video lag, which can't be fixed. So I am returning back to Avid Express Pro HD - it is still a great editing tool but doesn't have as many facilities and finishing tools as a Media Composer.

Till later,
Amit

Labels: Avid, Five, Introspection, Movies, Pre-production, Script

posted by Amit @ 11:13 PM 0 Comments

Induced Insomnia

Some people just can't sleep. And I am not one of them. I sleep like a baby 95% of the time and it takes a fair bit of noise for anything to wake me up, which can be testified by my numerous friends and family members who have tried waking me up when I am in deep sleep. Special mention to the time in Delhi when I fell asleep in the afternoon while mom went out shopping. I woke up to loud banging on the door and opened to see mom all flustered. I didn't understand the big deal but it turned out that the entire neighboring apartment flats were helping mom in pounding the door for close to 30-45 minutes before I opened the door - I barely heard the noise. In retrospect - i actually find it really amusing that I can sleep like that.

So what am I doing typing this blog at 4.15 in the morning? INDUCED INSOMNIA - involuntary too.... Now I can't go back to sleep, so thought I might as well update the blog and start working on 'Five'.

Friday night was fun - first went to a farewell party for Kirstin and Karen (& Jerome) - who will be leaving New Zealand soon. After that caught up with Anita, Marjan and Andy for a different kind of workshop for 'Five'. Extremely productive and it served the purpose I was intending it to. Here are some photos from there:


On saturday the one thing which really shook me up was seeing a cat run over by a car. It happened like this - I took a turn to get onto a main road and slowed down immediately as I saw a cat make a run for it to get across to the other side. It was running pretty fast but the first car coming from the opposite direction hit it and I saw bits and parts shatter. I didn't look in detail because I was afraid on what I would see but at that moment it really sunk in as to how temporal all living creatures really are. We live a fragile life in a fragile world and it doesn't take much to shatter that fragility.

Have a look at this news article: Sailor 'shocked' by killing of Iraqi and also this one "Prominent Russian reporter shot to death"- is it so hard to value human life? Talking of which - you must have the spate of school shootouts in the US. Well, guess what Bush says Govt will work to secure schools. So what are they going to do now - post military personnel in the schools? I think someone needs to revisit the documentary 'Bowling for Columbine' - as a society people have such a short attention span.

Till later,
Amit

[P.S - The soundtrack for 'Pulp Fiction' isn't bad at all. Also check out a music video from a NZ music group called Minuit - they are definitely one of my favorite NZ music groups - Ruth has an enticing and different voice. I used one of their tracks in 'Memories of Tomorrow' - with permission ofcourse.]

Labels: Acting, Five, Introspection, Memories of Tomorrow, Party

posted by Amit @ 3:54 AM 0 Comments

Gengy's

I finally managed to get around to eating out at the Mongolian BBQ restaurant I was wanting to try for ages. Originally I had planned to eat out there on my birthday but since that turned out to be a non event, I postponed it till the next opportunity - which was today. No special reason - just was able to save up enough money for the treat and thought it would be a great opportunity to catch up with Anita for 'Five'.

The restuarant we went to was Gengy's Restaurant in Newmarket (at the corner of khyber pass road and crowhurst street) and it proved to be an awesome experience. It was great value for money and the customer service was really nice as well. There was a special offer on where lunch was NZ$ 14.90 per head for all you can eat and it was great because I took 3 servings of food besides the dessert. There are different sections where you have a selection of different meats, vegetables, oils, spices, grounded ingredients - all you have to do is create your own combination of meats and vegetables and oils etc. and take the bowl to the chef, who then cooks it in front of you over a round flat hot plate which has a constant heat temprature of 600 centigrade. You eat your food and then go back for more servings (and possibly experiement with different combinations of meats and cooking oils - I did). It is definitely a great way to have a relaxed lunch which is also fun. I will definitely go back there sometime soon. [a tip - you can easily skip the salads and the soup in order to enjoy the main meal better]

I finished watching a really interesting documentary called 'The Oil Factor' and it was an eye opener. It just made me really angry at the state of the world we live in. Did you know that - At current rate of production, North America and Western Europe will run out of oil in 2010 and almost 1/2 a million U.S military personnel are deployed overseas near oil fields and oil routes. For those people who argue that the current conflicts around the world are not related to oil but for making the world a peaceful place all I can say to that is - Stop eating bullshit which the mainstream media keeps feeding you without questioning the legitamacy of the reports. As a documentary the first 10-15 minutes were kind of mendearing as it sets up the factual basis for the arguments but once the images start streaming in from Iraq and Afghanistan, all you can do is watch in horror over whats happening.

For the past few days there has been something that has really been bothering me - I keep looking out of my window and keep pondering about the meaning of love. What is it? What does it mean? Why is it? I wish Monty Python had made a movie called 'The Meaning of Love' as a sequel to their classic 'The Meaning of Life'.

Till later,
Amit

Labels: Acting, Five, Food, Introspection, Movies

posted by Amit @ 9:25 PM 0 Comments

Bitter Sweet

It is so easy to get disillusioned or bitter about something and the more I think about it the more I realize that it is easier to follow through with that instinct of giving up on something. This post is more a reminder to myself to stay positive and to understand that I am lucky to be alive - lucky to still have access to 3 meals a day, to have a roof under which to live in. Sometimes you just have to put your head down and do what you gotta do - life can be that simple.

I edited a 30 second promo for South Seas and it has been screening on Alt TV. If you are from 2003 or 2004 batch of South Seas - you will recognize a lot of the clips from the various end of the year productions. I have uploaded it onto Youtube and if you think that the version is too pixelated then you can download a quicktime file HERE.



I have also forgotten to wish some of my old friends on their birthdays - not because I don't want to but more because I have been extremely lazy as far as emails go. It is bad and all I can do is make a public apology for it.

Till later,
Amit

Labels: Introspection

posted by Amit @ 7:00 PM 0 Comments

Free Market!!!!

Money seems to be an illusion that is only real for the lucky. I recently had a discussion about free market or not, and as anyone who knows me can tell you - I am not really good at arguments and tend to go quite after the initial attempts at explaining my point of view because I fail to see the point in trying to convince the other person that one's view point is the right one when infact every person has their own reality and beliefs to deal with. So yeah it didn't particulary go well for me in that discussion but today I saw 'Enron: Smartest Guys in the Room' and it pretty much sums up the argument against a totally free capitalistic market {when seen as a companion piece to 'The Corporation' }. How could a company like 'Enron' defraud and cheat so many people without any remorse or regrets? And how can people have such a short attention span when it comes to issues like that and look at things in isolated glass structures instead of piecing together the various events and structures as a whole? We live in a society where money is ingrained into our psyche as the only thing worth striving for - when in fact there is a lot more to life than that. Money is a driving factor in anyone's life but it should never be allowed to become THE over-riding factor. If you want to read more about the Enron aftermath - here is the Wikipedia entry.

Talking of money - I finally decided to get an accountant for myself and for Unkreative Artists, since I need to be filing returns from next year after getting out of the current job. Plus this year - I asked for a couple of favours to get the returns for Unkreative Artists filed but I am afraid that it won't be possible doing that again and again. It means I will be spending some money to get the stuff done but it is better to be on the safe side as far as taxation and accounting is concerned.

We had a fantastic meeting/brainstorming session yesterday evening regarding 'Five' with all the actors involved and David Mamea - who is writing the script for it. And the outcome is that all of us are now waiting to see the magic translate onto page in a week or so. What we are doing with this is pretty insane but I guess that is the fun and the challenge of making this project happen. I will be going tramping with David this sunday to do location reccee if the weather holds up.

Till later,
Amit

Labels: Five, Introspection

posted by Amit @ 9:20 PM 0 Comments

League Extraordinaire

What a hectic weekend - transfer of houses is complete but now have to get the new place into shape. I carry too much shit - I tried chucking things away but I can't as I am down to the minimum. So now just trying to see where I can fit the stuff in.

The kitchen is fully functional now. Darryn helped me on Sunday morning to pick up a cheap second hand fridge and later in the day Benji bought an old microwave for a bargain. Both the appliances work like a charm even though they are old. I did heaps of utensils shopping to make sure that we have everything we need for the kitchen - the only thing which is now missing from the kitchen is a wok but other than that we are all good.

The Lounge area is still a mess with all my stuff lying around and nothing else there. It now has my bike in one corner, which I decided to ride from the old place to the new place- it was a pleasent but painful ride. There is this really steep hill, so steep that even the car struggles to climb up and I tried my best not to stop biking but it was a bit much. I managed to go up probably half of it before I got down from my bike and pushed it up for the rest of the hill. I will have to find an alternative route incase I want to bike from work (getting to work will be relatively simple).

The first night sleep's was troubled as it would be when you move into a new house - I was in some sort of a quasi-sleep/dream state the whole time and too top it all, the whole thing was a nightmare. The place is really quite here and suddenly your ears are open to all kinds of sounds. In the morning, I could hear a car's stereo parked about 10-15 meters from my bedroom and I could clearly hear the bed creak in the next room, amongst various other sounds. Talking of which - yesterday night I thought that my room was haunted or something because I woke up 2.15 at night because of this constant creaking sound. I rang up Benji and asked him to come over into my room to check out the sound. It so happened that Benji had put his bed against the wall and that noise was him turning in his bed, so now he has pushed the bed off the wall and miraculously the ghost is no more.

In between the shifting process, I managed to have read both the volumes of 'The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen' and it was an awesome comic. The art work as fabulous as the story itself. It was sad to see it end. And now I can see why all the fans were pissed off at the movie. Whoever made it into a movie completely forgot to adapt the tone and the characterizations of the graphic novel. They made it into a caricature and an action-packed hollywood adventure when what it really demanded was a different treatment and adaptation. Pity that people who haven't read the comic will think that it will be crap because the movie was bad.

I watched a couple of trailers on Saturday - 'Black Dahlia' ; 'The Departed' ; and 'The O in Ohio'. Black Dahlia looks like it is going to be an interesting movie while the trailer for 'The Departed' was average but it captures the essence of 'Infernal Affairs' and hopefully the movie would be better than the trailer. 'The O in Ohio' was funny and offbeat - it will definitely have a limited release and will most probabaly find a small faithful audience.

On Saturday, I also went for a location reccee for Angelique's short film, on which I will be doing lighting. It was fun - and I am excited about this project as it gives me a chance to work on another skill set I know that I have but never spent any time exploring. It really is a lucky chance.

I don't know how to end this post so I will just sign off with something I have been thinking about: Life can be simple yet so complex. I think eventually it shapes up into what you want it to be - maybe not to the exact detail but still somewhere close in the vicinity of what you want it to be. So it is good to take risks - follow your heart and the mind will follow.

Good night,
Amit

Labels: Graphic Novels, Introspection, Random

posted by Amit @ 6:12 PM 0 Comments

Life's worth

If someone was to buy my past till this point I would be worth approximately NZ$ 600,000. In monetary terms that is the sum of my life to this point.

Labels: Introspection

posted by Amit @ 6:27 PM 0 Comments

Arms Trade

I was watching behind the scenes/featurettes on 'Lord of War' and was thinking - if everyone knows that small arms trade is such a problem then why doesn't the UN step in and reign in the governments of different countries to stop the US$ 1 billion illegal small arms trade and also cut down on the US$ 3 billion legal trade. I ran into a news items yesterday evening which headlined 'U.N. conference on arms ends in failure' - so much for trying to make the world a better place to live. Read the article HERE.

The US Gun lobby - the NRA {National rifles Association} slammed the conference saying that it is a threat to their constitutional rights. What a pile of bullshit argument!!! The truth is that Africa and other volatile regions of the world are tearing themselves apart because they are being given a means to do that - so that governments and illegal arms traders can make a profit from the killings. Small Arms cause 90% of civilian casualties and things will only get worse with intensifying conflicts all around the world.

If you look at the top 3 countries making the most money out of small arms trade- they are USA, Russia and France : all permanent members of the U.N. Security Council - how is that for irony? The next country on that list is U.K - another permanent member of the security council.

But U.S is by far the largest exporter of arms -selling more than the next 14 countries on the list combined together and the U.S government wants everyone to believe that they are a peace loving country with their only interest being world peace - Bullshit!!!!! All you have to do is look at the Wikipedia page on Arms Industry and you start getting a better picture of the hypocrisy that runs through the world. People think that World War III would be one cataclysmic event but the fact is that it is already going on - all the wars which are going on right now are smaller parts of the bigger picture and there will be a snapout point sometime soon which will lead to multiple nations going to war at the same time. And at that point we will wonder as to why we never saw it coming.


Anyway - I won't talk much about what happened this weekend as nothing much did. Just movie work and house cleaning. I will leave you with some photos from the weekend.


No..hold on - talking about Long Bay Beach - I have never actually seen that many dogs on a beach before. Every second person had a dog with them - it was kind of bizarre. Also not related to Long Bay Beach, watched a really really long japanese sci-fi movie called 'Casshern'. It was another of those weird experiences. The story kept going on and on. The director obviously had a solid vision but not the money to back it up, so the SFX were passable but well integrated into the story. They made an epic for US$ 5 million. The weakest point of the movie was it's overdrawn and long narrative. If only they had trimmed it down by an hour....

Talking of Japanese - Benji lent me a book which dealt with the underground manga movement in Japan and was essentially a collection of underground manga stories. I have to say that Japanese are into some really weird stuff and in a way it makes me wonder if as a society they are even stable. I have started reading a sci-fi Manga titled 'Blame!' and it has been a thrilling read because of the art work, the pacing and the concept. I have finished Vol. 1 and have just started off Vol. 2

I think I will take leave with a concept teaser poster for 'Five' - the movie that I am planning to do after 'Nowhere'.


Ciao,
Amit

Labels: Five, Graphic Novels, Introspection, Movies

posted by Amit @ 9:33 PM 0 Comments

Pirates Ahoy!!!

Just back from a screening of 'Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest' - it was an enjoyable movie. Way above and beyond Superman Returns. It is definitely a holiday movie and is a fun ride even though the second act gets bogged down by overdrawn scenes. Johnny Depp is lots of fun again and the CGI is awesome - especially the Kraken and Davey Jones. And yes, the movie does leave you on a cliffhanger - a nice one at that.

The past few weeks have been busy times with school and movie projects, so time has been sparse. Benji discovered a chinese eating joint which stays open late and we checked it out yesterday night. Both of us were surprised to find that it stays open till 2.00 AM - yep...2.00 in the morning and the best part - it is only 5 minutes walk from the house. The reason it is so surprising is that all shops on the shore {except for the supermarkets} closes by 6.30-7.00 PM odd and only the restaurents stay open till 8.30-9.00 PM on a weeknight {with most fast food places closing around 10.00 PM}; so to find any place for your midnight snacks is a huge challenge and the only option is to go into the city - which isn't that exciting an idea. So yeah - really thrilled to find a late night eating joint close to our house.

I got a text message recently which has been bugging me - it says "Philosophy: Small things in life hurt a lot". I think I will have to ponder over it.

And till later,
Amit

Labels: Food, Introspection, Movies

posted by Amit @ 10:53 PM 0 Comments

Freezing

I did end up watching 'The Omen Legacy' for about an hour before switching it off because it was more of a refresher course on the original 'Omen' movies and it wasn't really interesting at all since I have read all the four books which are far more interesting in the moving image. Today the remake of 'The Omen' has been released and I haven't seen it yet but will go and watch it sometime this weekend to see if it was worth the time and money for a remake. The movie which I did enjoy heaps was 'Seducing Dr. Lewis' - a canadian movie made in french. It was refreshing and heaps of fun. It is a story well-told and has a pleasent charm to it.

Finally shifted my rooms - it is still a bit untidy and chaotic but that should be another day's work. Benji will be coming back to New Zealand tomorrow - so will be going to pick him up early tomorrow morning. I had an email in my inbox which I had to share with everyone because it is so true. On that note - I will sign off.

Labels: Introspection, Movies

posted by Amit @ 9:15 PM 0 Comments

A moment

There are moments when time comes to a stand still. You go through the different spans of space and time in your head; visualize the alternate realities, you are insulated in your mind and suddenly snap - you are jolted back!!! You wake up and only a minute has passed since you made your choice of another reality to realize, even though it feels like an eternity has passed. All the sounds and smells and the consciousness subsided by the overpowering visions of the alternate realities. You know, deep in your heart, that those are the moments when you can make a choice to decide what you want your future to be. But what if you let one of those moments go? What if you realize that it is better to shed an unspoken tear for the moment past? Randomness is a great way to break the pre-destined isn't it?

It sounds philosophical and stuff but it really isn't - it is exactly what I felt like before deciding to write the experience down here. What you make of all this - I will leave that to you.

Amit

Labels: Introspection

posted by Amit @ 10:34 PM 0 Comments

End?

What if there was a time and place when everything came to an end? And what if that time and place was tomorrow (24 hours from now)? How would you feel? What would you be thinking? Are you happy with what you have done with your life to this point? Is there anything that you wished that you had changed or would have done differently - if you had a second chance? What would you do? That's the big question.


I look back on the life I have lived till now and can't think of anything that I would change or do anything differently. I am quite content with the way my life has shaped up to this point. I have been through a fair few trials and tribulations - more than you can imagine that I might have gone through, but I have also had really memorable experiences. I have made a fair few mistakes - some small, some big but learnt from each of them. I have loved and have been loved. I have hated and have been hated. I have cried and I have screamed in agony. I have judged and I have been judged. I have laughed and enjoyed moments with lots of different people. I have discriminated and I have been discriminated against. I have had friends in whose hands I can trust my life with and who have done selfless acts towards me - some which I can never repay. I have had the good fortune of having parents who love me very much and have supported me in everything that I have done and whom I love back equally. There is still a lot of pain that I have - a little for myself and a lot for my family. I wish that I could make life easy for my parents - who have sacrificed a lot of things, so I could have a better life. But it is something which will resolve itself in the future - a future that no one can control, so no point wanting to change the future. So yeah there is nothing that I would change to where I am today and there is nothing that I would have done anything differently but I probably don't want to relive my life again either.

If everything was to end tomorrow - I would then most definitely say my final goodbyes over the phone (if the phone systems haven't crashed by then)- first to my close friends and then finally to my family. After that I would try and do a selfless act - maybe let a homeless person sleep in the warmth of our home or anything which feels selfless at that point. I would cook myself a dish which I really love and then share it with whoever is with me at that point and then I would then go to the nearest beach and lie there - admiring the nature till the end of time.

What about you? Are you just gonna read this or would you be brave enough to share your feelings and thoughts? Or are you just a reader, who finds safety in the anonymity? You might not even know me and I might not know you but I would love to hear your thoughts.

Amit

Labels: Introspection

posted by Amit @ 8:35 PM 2 Comments

Rain!

Rainy sunday and I don't really have much to write about. It has been pouring down on and off for the whole week, so nothing surprising at all. It just meant that I had a long day to myself to ponder over things and plans. I realized that on the blog I have been writing more and more about what films I see and my thoughts over them and I seem to have sub-consciously veered away from writing anything personal or for that matter anything related to the new movie that we are making. I guess one of these days I have to sit down and write a personal entry.

I did buy myself a second-hand futon for the drawing room. Purpose was two-fold: first we needed more seating capacity in our lounge, which ordinarily seats only 3 people comfortable. Now with the futon in the lounge we can now seat 7 people without a sweat. Second purpose was that it would act as a spare bed incase anyone crashes over at our place. I am happy with the purchase because the mattress is really comfortable - it probably needs a good clean and some new covers. Tim, my other flatmate - helped me out by getting out his company truck, so we could transport the futon from the seller's place to ours. I forgot to take my camera with me and missed some nice shots but rectified it when we were driving the truck back to his office. The photos you see were taken on the trip (only 2 good shots out of 15 - the rest were blurred because of low light conditions).


Signing off for now in the hope that my last vestige of sanity is not shattered this coming week.
Amit

Labels: Introspection

posted by Amit @ 8:14 PM 0 Comments

Anger Management

So I was telling you how furious I was over events that took place today and how I was off to see a movie to reduce my anger. I ended up seeing a couple of movies: 'The Edukators' {german} and 'Apres Vous' {french}

The Edukators was an alright movie - it was long, it had a clever plot but there is too much talk and it definitely felt like a digital feature. Some of the cinematography was fantastic while at other places it looked too 'DV'; the editing was alright and it could have done with a tighter cut. And overall the movie did nothing to reduce my anger - infact I did get a little more agitated (because of the theme of the movie).

So I decided that I had to watch 'Apres Vous' straight after and it was a good decision as the movie was hilarious - i was laughing the whole way through the movie and it was a smart and funny movie. There is not one moment where it let's you off its grip and it is a small little gem waiting to be discovered on DVD. Do watch it if you get a chance - I am sure you will enjoy it.

I think it is time to hit the bed - wondering the joke that is our society.
Amit

Labels: Introspection, Movies

posted by Amit @ 10:38 PM 0 Comments

Anger

I haven't been this angry, hurt and raged since ages and it is not a good feeling. Some days just turn to shit and what is infuriating is that you try and do your best to fix problems but get bricks on the head in return. It has taken me a good half a day to cool down a bit and I can still honestly say that I am still very very angry.


I think I need to watch a movie or something to escape reality for a few hours.
Till later,
Amit

Labels: Introspection

posted by Amit @ 5:43 PM 0 Comments

Contemplation & Action

The whole week has been characterized by 3 things: contemplation, rain and action.

It has been pouring down with rain the whole week and it has also caused some traffic breakdowns across the north island because of the mud slides - especially in the Coromandel peninsula. Auckland hasn't been too bad. Nights are getting longer and the days shorter- winters are now almost at the doorstep.

Lots of other things going on with the movie, which combined with my time spent at school - meant I was doing 14+ hours a day for the whole week. I just revamped my personal website as it was overdue - it felt a little dated, so I simplified it - a lot. Check it out HERE. And yes greencine.com will be hosting the collection of our short films which we did in while studying at school, which is definitely exciting.

Watched a few films: 'The Interpreter' ; 'Thirteen'; 'A Lot like Love' whenever I got a little bit of time. 'Thirteen' is a flawed movie but hard hitting - it is the acting which makes that movie. 'A lot like Love' was funny in parts but definitely too long. The middle felt a little stretched out but still it was good timepass. 'The Interpreter' starts off with a bang but looses itself in it's own cleverness and the ending was blahhhhh...

A lot of time over the past few days has also been about personal contemplation and I am just falling deeper and deeper into it. So many things to wonder about...

Bye for now,
Amit

Labels: Introspection, New Zealand

posted by Amit @ 5:27 PM 0 Comments

Sunday morning thought!!!

I live in a complete paradox and the ramifications are huge - not for anyone else but for me. I seem to be drifting away from the temporal into the invisible.

Anyway enough of my sunday morning philosophy...remember that hindi song from Inside Man I was talking about - I found the video for that song and it is probably one of my few favorite hindi songs. The song is filmed on top of a train (I can't imagine shooting that kind of visuals over here- OSH will be on the film makers backs for dangerous filming and enforce health and safety regulations) and the thing I like about it is the syncronicity of dance moves to the driving beat of the train - it is a visual marvel. You can watch the song HERE (higher resolution) or here (loads quickly but in lower resolution).

I think we might have found the last of the main leads for 'Nowhere to Love' - it will take another couple of days to confirm that. It is exciting that things are progressing forward but at the same time it is a scary place to be in because a huge element of independent film making is also about chance/luck and we need all the luck we can to raise the remaining half of the budget.

I probably need to get up from bed and get back to working on the movie.
Bye for now,
Amit

{P.S - I have sworn not to touch any kind of video games till I finish 'Nowhere to Love'}

Labels: Introspection, Nowhere to Love

posted by Amit @ 10:06 AM 0 Comments

Oil

This is in response to the couple of comments over my last post and thought it would be easier to reply to it in a new post.

With both the comments - especially Pete's - Thats the whole point - why install democracy? if a certain country chooses to live the way it lives then it is their choice. America has no right to interfere with other countries way of living. If US is so concerned about democracy then why doesn't it do something about countries in the african continent like Zimambawe, Nigeria etc...Is there oil there? NO...Is there anything of value there?NO... Which countries has it attacked till now - Afghanistan: USA trained Taliban in the 90's to counter the russian invasion in Aghanistan. US also paid them to try and secure their support for protecting the oil pipeline they wanted to build through the country to provide an oil route from the oil rich countries (which were formerly part of USSR). And suddenly after 2001 they are their enemy. Iraq: No weapons of mass destruction have yet been found, which was the whole reason US went to war there. And what have they done - they have now thrown the country into civil war and are loosing troops by the day (more than is reported in the media). Now they are planning to go to war against Iran.....what happened to them trying to disarm North Korea off it's nuclear arsenal??? Wasn't that there next stop for warfare - part of the 'axis of evil'? Why doesn't america do anything about Pakistan or Saudi Arabia which have an equal number of radical muslims- and hey pakistan has nuclear capacity - are they not a threat to US? they can blow out US as well - why not take them out? As far as terrorism is concerned- the supposed terrorists were not from Iran but were from Saudi Arabia or Pakistan. Osama Bin Laden was trained by USA and is from Saudi Arabia and is currently supposed to be hiding in the tribal belt in the pakistan side of the border. The more you dig the more you find the double faced nature of US foreign policy.

Here is a brief history of Iran over the past half a century:

1941: Allied occupation of Iran. Shah Riza abdicates, and his son Muhammad Riza Pahlavi takes over the position as Shah.
1943: Iran joins the Allied side in the war.
1947: Start of a US-Iranian cooperation in developing the oil industry.
1949: Iran becomes a constitutional monarchy.
1951: Nationalization of the oil industry.
1953: The prime minister, Muhammad Musaddiq, is overthrown with American aid. Musaddiq had been governing with unlimited power for some time, and had been propagating for the Shah to be deposed.
[In 1953 Iran's prime minister Mohammed Mossadeq, who had been elected to parliament in 1923 and again in 1944 and who had been prime minister since 1951, was removed from power in a complex plot orchestrated by British and US intelligence agencies ("Operation Ajax").

Many scholars suspect that this ouster was motivated by British-US opposition to Mossadeq's attempt to nationalize Iran's oil. Following Mossadeq's fall, Shah Mohammad Reza Pahlavi (Iran's monarch) grew increasingly dictatorial. With strong support from the USA and the UK, the Shah further modernised Iranian industry but crushed civil liberties. His autocratic rule, including systematic torture and other human rights violations, led to the Iranian revolution and overthrow of his regime in 1979. After more than a year of political struggle between a variety of different groups, an Islamic republic was established under the Ayatollah Khomeini by popular vote.]

1950s: Iran opens up for cooperation with European countries and USA in the oil industry.
1959: Defence agreement with USA.
1962-66: Large estates are divided into smaller farms and given to 4 million families. Many of these estates had been religious endowment, waqf, so this reform were met by fierce protests from the religious leaders.
1971: Iran occupies some Iraqi islands in the Persian Gulf. Iraq brakes all diplomatic connections with Iran.
1975: The dispute over land between Iran and Iraq is settled in an agreement. Iran keeps the occupied territory.
1970s: Despite economic growth, there is much opposition towards the Shah, and he uses the secret police, the Savak, to control the country.
1978: Strong Shi'i opposition towards the Shah, and the country comes close to a situation of civil war. The opposition is lead by Ayatollah Khomeini, who lives in exile in France. His message is transmitted through music cassettes, which are smuggled into Iran in small numbers, and then duplicated, and spread all around the country.
1979 January 16: The Shah leaves Iran, as his new government can't control the situation in the country anymore.
— February 1: Khomeini returns to Iran. A period of antagonism starts. Processes against the supporters of the Shah starts, and hundreds are executed. Many demonstrations are held in protest to the new rules, like extreme regulations on women's dress.
— March 30: Referendum on the new Iranian constitution is held, where the Islamic republic is chosen.
— November: Iranian students storm the US embassy, taking 70 people, the majority Americans, as hostages. 18 are released before the end of November. This conflict would last more than one year, and has more than anything else formed the West's image of the present regime of Iran as an anti-Western one.
1980: Abolhassan Beni Sadr is elected for president. Iraq invades Iran, in the belief that Iran is too weak military to fight back. Iraq is claiming territories inhabited by Arabs, as well as territory occupied by Iran in 1971. Some battles are won in the favour of Iraq, but Iran is fast preparing to fight back.
1981 January 20: The hostages in the US embassy are released, after long negotiations, where USA concedes to transfer money, as well as export military equipment to Iran. This year sees the height of a conflict between the ulama and Beni Sadr.
— June: Beni Sadr is removed from power by Khomeini, and flees to France in July. Here he establishes the National Council of Resistance in cooperation with Mujahidin-e-Khalq.
1982: The Iraqi forces are driven out of Iran. The war extends to shooting of boats in the Persian Gulf, in an attempt to hurt the other country's oil exports.
1987: The fights between Iran and Iraq are reduced to a minimum.
1988 August 20: A cease fire is signed between Iran and Iraq.
1989 June: A fatwa is issued by Khomeini against the British author Salman Rushdie, as a reaction to the presentation of Islam and Muhammad in his book Satanic Verses, published the year before. Soon after, Khomeini dies.
— July: Ali Akbar Hashemi Rafsanjani is elected president. Relations with Western countries are slightly improved.
1990: Earthquake in Caucasian regions that kills about 35,000 Iranians.
1990-91: Iran condemns both Iraq's invasion in Kuwait, and the allied forces actions towards Iraq.
1995: Total ban on trade with Iran is imposed by the USA.
1996: USA carries a law that any company, even non-US, investing in Iran and Libya, will be punished by American law if and when these act in USA.
— September: Considerable increase in the political and economic relations with Turkey.
2003 December 26: Earthquake kills about 30,000 in the southeastern town of Bam.
2004 February 21: Elections for the Majlis (parliament), where a large number of candidates had been disqualified from running by the religious leadership of the country. This resulted in low turnouts, and a victory for the conservative representatives.
2005 June 24: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is elected president of Iran in the second round of the popular elections.

Couple of good sources to learn about Iran's past:
http://lexicorient.com/e.o/iran.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iran

So tell me how come the same country - USA, which has actively interfered with Iran's internal politics since WW2 and had a defence agreement with them at a point in time - is now saying that Iran is an enemy to them. Everything has an equal and opposite reaction. Radical muslims have every right to be angry - as much as Americans think they have the right to be angry. America has caused more problems than they have solved and then brainwashing the general public with the government's point of view. A government is responsible towards its people and if you feel insecure then it obviously is the government's fault - it is something they have done to warrant such hatred. You should then be more angry at the government for having created such a situation than at some radical muslims, whom you think hate you for no reason.

As far as nuclear games in Asia are concerned -in regards to India/Pakistan as well as the conflict which US has with North Korea and Chinese influence in the area, here are some links:
US-North Korea Conflict
Folly of Nuclear War-Gaming..
N.Korea warns of nuclear conflict
Military Options for dealing with North Korea's Nuclear Program
Nuclear War: Unthinkable?
China, India deals: End all Uranium exports
China-Australia Nuclear Material Transfer
Nuclear Power in India and Pakistan
Carter slams US-India nuclear deal

I think those are enough links to provide for a good read of the situation in Asia, to those who don't know whats happening there. Again a lot of it comes back to US stirring up shit for their own gains. Why not attack N.Korea, who have openely said that they have nuclear weapons and are not afraid to use them? Why support India in acquiring raw material for it's nuclear programmes even though it is not part of NPT because of it's nuclear arms program? So does the US decide who can have nuclear weapons and who can't? And what if one of those nations turns it back on US? Don't these questions make you think?

This discussion can go on and on....my point is that things are not always what the government tells you they are - start questioning and thinking on whats happening across the world. We are not far from a nuclear conflict in the near future and it will start in the name of 'pre-emptive' strike.

A couple of good docos to watch are: 'Control Room' ; and 'The Fog of War' . Hope you have seen them- if not do make an effort to give them a go.
For now,
Amit

Labels: Introspection

posted by Amit @ 6:59 AM 1 Comments

Nearly easter

It is the long weekend ahead with good friday and easter monday. This year there seem to be more 4 day weekends this year than that in the last couple of years. That's awesome as it gives more time for doing pre-prod for the movie. I just came back from a long and productive meeting with Richard and it just gets thrilling all the time with all the small but significant strides that we are making with the movie. We are now about 2 months and a bit away from production of the movie. Time is going to become extremely rare.

On a worldwide level - it amazes me that the super powers are denouncing Iran's stride in producing enriched Uranium on their own while on the other hand, US is happy with Australia to sell enriched Uranium to countries like India. Why are they so upset - because they can't sell anything to Iran? Or because they need a reason to go to war for more oil? Afterall the campaign in Iraq did not shape up as they wanted. Iran is the same country which was used by the allied forces as a base for operations against Afghanistan and Iraq to a large extent and is now included in the 'axis of evil'. People seem to have such short term memories about things and just buy into any crap which governments seem to put out through media outlets. What is the US really doing? Are they installing demoracy in all the countries? Nope....it is a complete eyewash for their agenda in pursual of more oil - a resource which we are exhausting really quick. Everything keeps coming back to oil but people fail to see it in their myopic vision of the world order and politics.

Enough of my ramble about oil and politics.
Good night,
Amit

Labels: Introspection

posted by Amit @ 9:43 PM 2 Comments

Walk the Line

I have started walking the line. It is amazing how much half a day of free time can do to your mind - I seem to be able to see things with a better perspective. Ticked off another 2 things from my list and started cleaning my room {which was overdue by a month or so}. I haven't finished cleaning my room completely but it is definitely looking a lot better. I bought the study table from my flatmate as he bought himself a new one. It would definitely help me in my workflow as I can retire to my room and work without having to worry about damaging my back - as till now I tended to use my laptop lying down in my bed (definitely not a good thing to do).

I went and saw 'Walk the Line' in the evening. Joaquin Phoenix and Resse Witherspoon have done some awesome work in it and I would be surprised if one of them doesn't come away with an oscar. I had no clue whatsoever of who John Cash was or his influence on music - after all I am from India, so I went into the movie without any expectations and I must say that the movie felt long and felt like another other musical biopic but it is the acting which hold the movie together. There is some really interesting cinematography and the editing is seamless - they have used a lot of audio lead-in's to bridge time and scenes. The acting is definitely oscar material-hold on I am repeating myself (:-)

It is surprising that the national newspaper, NZ Herald - hasn't reviewed the latest NZ movie 'No. 2', which recieved a huge response at Sundance Film Festival and also won the world cinema audience award there. I find it callous and disrespectful that they don't want to review a NZ movie even though they review commercial moneymaking hollywood movie's like 'Firewall'...Maybe they did not like the movie and it would have reflected badly on the movie (and the newsaper???) but that still is not a reason enough for not writing about it because the public needs to know about the movie. I hope they get around to reviewing it.

I find it amusing how babies stare at me most of the time - the only other person I know who gets the same treatment is Lance. They either find it fascinating seeing my face or find me weird - which one I will never know because they obviously can't talk when they are that young. I was shopping for groceries and when I came to the payment counter - a couple of babies in the parallel line kept staring at me. The lady on the other side of the counter noticed that and was surprised at it - I told her that it happens all the time with me and she was amused. I found it amusing that she found it amusing. Life's little pleasures.

Amit

Labels: Introspection, Movies

posted by Amit @ 9:08 PM 4 Comments

Blogs?

Should blogs be so personal??? And if they are not so personal -then whats the point of keeping them? I am sure every person who blogs faces the same question...i had already discussed my views on this in the post titled 'censorship' but the question has resurfaced after a comment from Grace -who said that by saying stuff about people, their reputations are on line and are brought to scrutiny by one and all. well - i do realize that what she said was pretty straightforward and true but a blog is supposed to be a personal view of things and not a sanitised, politically correct version of events which would suit everyone. Are they supposed to be informative? Or are they just supposed to be a marketing tool for promoting yourself? Or do they have a place at all in the scheme of things? Obviously this issue has affected me at a much deeper level than I thought. But on second thoughts - I am not writing stuff about random people that I haven't met or worse still i am not gossiping about stuff which does not concern me - professionally or personally.

Finding an answer is such a difficult task and I think it is something which I will keep looking for. But as I said earlier - the idea of the blog is to write what I am going through - my experiences, the stuff and people with whom I am involved in. And I am gonna stay true to that.

And if you have more opinions on what blogs should be - feel free to drop in a comment or an email anytime.

cheers
amit

Labels: Introspection

posted by Amit @ 9:36 AM 3 Comments

Censorship

Strange name for a post I guess but thought that I would write something which was bothering me. The purpose of creating a blog was to share my thoughts and life but then the question of censorship arises because how much is too much -afterall I am sharing this with the entire world and I am really opening myself up for anything. At times it seems so tempting to just filter down your thoughts and jsut write the positive aspects of your life but then it is never that way. It is always full of ups and downs and to present a rosy picture is hypocritic. So I have decided that I will stay as true to myself as possible and write what I feel - no matter what the people who read this blog feel or say about me. Everyone is entitled to opinions and thoughts and what is made of me in your minds is for you - if your opinion of my public image/persona changes then I guess i had been pretending to be what I never was.

Censorship seems to be such a common thing -we censor out what we don't want others to know or our version of the same story changes depending on whom we are telling it to. We live a society increasingly obsessed with status and social rankings and thus the drive to put on masks - something which disturbs me - because I can't seem to put on any masks or do I put on too many of them? I guess this is one of those really introspective entries I will be making.

On a completely different note - i did want to talk about sexuality in film and how society in general reacts to it- this came about after watching 'The Dreamers' at Academy and also reading the reviews about 9 SONGS. I watched 'The dreamers' last week at Academy Cinema, on a small screen with a capacity for about 15-16 people and the movie was sold out. The movie was really interesting and the first 45 minutes flew like a breeze but after that it kind of meandered and lost its way and then found it again and lost it again towards the end. I do appreciate the director's and the actors being faithful to the subject matter and not letting their personal lives dictate what can or can not be seen on screen. On the other hand '9 Songs' seems to be drawing a lot of controversy to itself because of its explicit depiction of sex. Well -what I can not understand is how can sex be explicit?? isn't sex -just sex? and isn't it also the most natural thing for us humans to do? And what would you define as explicit and who gives you the right to censor what people can see or can not see? America has the highest consumption of porn but at the same time it is the one industry which is really caught up about nudity and sex in mainstream cinema -how come? These double standards are just silly. The next short film I would like to make will have full nudity and will debunk the theory that showing skin is arousing all the time. That ofcourse depends on seeing if there are any actors who are willing to open themselves up and be vulnerable for the camera. And I think it will be a bigger challenge in NZ. Let's see what happens.

Today's shoot was really interesting - first we could not get the boat into the studio for filming and then trying to get the scenes working in the studio was such a challenge. It was real fun. Though we did not get all the three scenes done which I had originally planned for. Had to leave out one of the scenes as Lance had to go to work. I think the movie will finsh production in November -as Lance will be away for a trip to South Island in the later half of October. On a more upbeat note - Benji is still keen to edit the movie and he would try and come over here on a tourist visa for 3 months and edit the movie then. Which I think is gonna be fantastic because he has got the same sensibilities and is on the same wavelength as me and the earlier projects we did together had been so much fun and a big learning experience. Let's see how that goes.


On a closing note- independent film making is surely an interesting process - you don't have the resources or the money to bring the scene to life as you envisioned it. It is funny how you know a particular scene will play out in your head but on location - with so many variables going on - all you can do is but keep on top of the change and adapt to the change and just get what you want, unlike a proper budgeted feature films where you have the luxury to create a mood or create a scenario and hold on to it till you have all the shots that you need. This particular film had always been an ambitious project for a first directorial venture - i have lost count of the number of people telling me that it is too ambitious but my thoughts have always been simple. If you dare to dream, then dream big and if you can't dream then you can't make it happen. I think I have been lucky that so many people have helped out on this film and have brought this dream to life - something which is amazing - I don't think that I could have done this kind of project on a'no-budget' anywhere else in the world. NZ is indeed a good place to make films.

Will take leave now and have a small break before the school starts off tomorrow. It will be interesting bec